Sucking for Buyers Now Too

I needed to buy something, and no one had it. But it was listed on Amazon. I paid about $400 for the items. The seller was out of stock and canceled the order. Hey, I get it, it happens. Amazon however, put a hold on my credit card. Of course, they wont release those funds either. I went around in circles with them.

In my Chat Window, I had this to say:

Me: Thank you, for once again proving, that Amazon is completely worthless to me. As a seller, or a buyer, you suck. I hate Amazon more than words. Thanks for not being able to help at all. You DO realize I am out $400 until it feels like dropping off by itself right? As If I had $400 to just sit around, doing nothing. Not to mention the fact, that since the seller advertised a product he didn't have in stock, I STILL had to spend another $400 to buy from someone else. That is now $800 out of my pocket. How much credit do you think I actually have, anyway? Since the seller made a mistake, doesn't that mean the almighty Amazon should be shutting down his seller account, and freezing his assets for 3 months, for being a terrible person? After all, that's what your crappy company did to my seller account. I hate you, I hate you, I hate you. Please let your supervisor know what I think about that.

Evil Amazon's Slave: "We are really sorry for the inconvenience John, we really didn't expect that the seller will not have the inventory for the item. I will forward your comments to our seller department."

Me: I dont blame the seller. I blame AMAZON for not contacting my bank, at my my own request, and releasing the funds.

Evil Amazon's Slave: "You need to contact your bank."

Me: Now, you just further waste my time. They told me to contact you. I told them it was Amazon, and Amazon doesn't care. So, I am not going to waste any more, of either of our time. It's a Saturday night, and I have somewhere to be. But, I just want you to know that this has not been resolved, (not even any attempt made, as you could call the bank with me on the phone). Anyway, I have already posted it on my blog, frequented by people who have been run over by Amazon's Corporate Machine. It will be found on Google shortly. Have a nice day.

I'm Sorry You Found My Blog

Unfortunately, people only find this blog AFTER Amazon steals their money. You will need to wait the 90 days. No matter what you do, or how you do it, they will not budge. On the 91st day, they will send you a payment, which will take another few days to make it into your account.

If (when) you try to sneak back on, they can catch you a number of different ways.

1. IP address - Change the MAC address on the router and reboot that and the modem. You will get a new address from Comcast or whoever you have.

2. Cookies - Empty your cookies from your web browser. You can even install a new browser like Opera, just for logging back into Amazon.

3. Adobe Flash Cache - Yup, if you look around your system, you will find that they all do this, ebay, paypal, etc. Obviously, empty the cache. I forget where it was hiding on the system, but it's there.

Amazon Does It Again

Here I am, almost a year past the pain of all the blog entries before this one. Even though I've had a rough history with Amazon, I figured business is business, so I signed up for their own search thing. Please note, this is not to be a seller with them, simply a generic PPC that happens on their system.

Their signup was by far the easiest, and fastest of all product searches. There was no Up front fee, which is the only reason I chose to try them. It would be billed after the fact. They were also the only ones to accept the Google feed I already had.

Sadly, of the 660ish items I uploaded to them, they denied everything but 20 or so Bluetooth headsets. The reason, was that the category was closed. Sure would have been nice if the system told me that up front, instead of saying it was A-OK for me to list in Technology and Cell Phones. Once again, Amazon lied to get me in the door, and then left me with nothing in the end.

I decided to pull off the 20 items it did accept for 2 reasons. One was that my prices were considerably higher than the same items already listed on Amazon (one of the main reasons I won't sell on there again), and the other reason was that the system had it listed in the wrong categories (it put some bluetooth in office supplies, others went into sporting goods, etc.)

I really hate Amazon, with every fiber of my being. I mean, If if I still sold on there, they would be taking what little profit was left over, on their damn fees anyway.

Unbelieveable

These Amazon losers, and the shitty customers they sent me, just won't die. I received this a short while ago:

Greetings from Amazon Payments.

We are writing to let you know that the credit card issuer has contacted us
on behalf of the buyer of the transaction listed below.
Order date: 04/23/2008
Order number: 102-3490352-2678665
Items Purchased:
1 of (4GB Touch Screen 2.8" TFT MP3/MP4 Music/Video Player + Accessories) for 69.95


Shipping Address:

carlos devora
19329 Elaine DR.
Fontana
California
92336
US


In order to respond to the credit card issuer on your behalf, we need you
to provide us with proof of delivery, which we will provide to the credit card issuer.


So, I sent the following heart-felt response:

This customer supposedly supplied the wrong address (which Amazon verified) and has spent months blaming me for shipping it there. Since the tracking number is already in your system under this order, I don't know why you need for me to go in and copy and paste this information from your own website.

This customer was just another bad customer that Amazon supplied to me. This customer, and Amazon for that matter, have wasted enough of my company's time and resources. I am supplying this information for the last time. I do not want to hear this, or anything else from your company every again.

Tracking Number, to the address supplied by the Customer, and Amazon: EO023874157US

The End of the Saga

Well, despite being total moronic assholes until the bitter end, I finally received my money a few days ago... plus interest.

So, if you find yourself in the same boat the rest of us did, you can have some peace of mind that eventually you will get your money back. Complaining about it won't do any good. Begging for it won't help. Going to the Better Business Bureau or other online entity is pointless. Threatening them with pipe bombs won't get your money back either.

I took the begging, comedic, and public approach. "TheJames" took the crazy, in your face, "I'm going to kill you and piss on your shallow grave" approach. We both still waited out out 90 days, for the funds to be returned.

While letting it go for the first 90 days makes sense, both "TheJames" and I both had last minute bullshit bailout attempts. They told him that there was now a claim against him and they were holding the money longer, and they told me that the money was on it's way... not once, not twice, not three times, but FOUR times before they ever bothered to send it.

So... in the end... now that I finally got my $2000+ dollars back.... I know your dying to know what I ended up spending the money on, right? Well, right before I was paid, customs put a $2300.00 shipment worth of phones I ordered on hold. I had to reorder the entire shipment, so the Amazon money is now sitting in Wilmington, Ohio while I deal with Customs and DHL's PISS POOR Customer Service.

For the most part, I am done posting on this blog, but it will be here as a reminder, and help for anyone who wants to read it. If you want to continue to follow what part of my business life I make time to share, you can follow the links of this page, to view my other blogs.

If you are reading this because Amazon Stole Your Money too, then you should speak out, complain, file a report with the BBB,email theconsumerist.com, open your own website, and let your story be heard. Don't let these Fuckers get away with it.

Blah, Blah, Blah... Just Give Me My Money

Hello again from Technical Account Management.

I understand that you wish to receive your funds. However, the only department who can make sure the funds are released to your bank account, while the account is blocked, is our Seller Performance group. For this inquiry, specifically relating to the receipt of your payment, you will need to e-mail them using the account e-mail address to, payments-funds@amazon.com.

Thank you.

Best regards,

Andrea P
Amazon.com Technical Account Management

Amazon Responds... Again.... and Again... and...

This is the third time they have given me three different dates. These people are fucking idiots.

Dear XXX,

We initiated a transfer to your checking account (last three digits XXX) of $1578.94 on 08/18/2008.

Funds usually arrive within 3 - 5 banking days, but times vary by bank. If you have not received your funds within 7 banking days, you may contact us at merchant-disbursement-inquiry@amazon.com.

To see more information about payments to your seller account:
1. Log in to sellercentral.amazon.com.
2. Click the “Reports” tab and then choose the "Payments" option.
3. Use the drop-down menu on the left to see past disbursements.

Thank you for choosing Amazon.com.

Amazon.com Customer Service

Amazon Responds

It took them 5 days, and several emails later, but they finally responded. Not that it fixes the problem... they are still in violation of their own policies.

Greetings from Amazon.com.

Thank you for contacting us. The final settlement date for your account will be August 16, 2008. At that time the funds will disburse to your bank account on file. Please allow five banking days for the funds to reach your bank account.

Best regards,

Payments Specialist
http://www.amazon.com

Day 103

Dear Amazon,

Since I STILL have not received my payment. You are killing me.

Total Owed to Me: $1578.94
Emails Requesting My Money: 101
Emails I have left to send you: ???

Day 100

Dear Amazon,

Since I STILL have not received my payment, I am left to wonder, WTF?!?

Total Owed to Me: $1578.94
Emails Requesting My Money: 100
Emails I have left to send you: ???

Dear TheJames,

Remind me never to piss you off. I think, that if you had the option to kill one person a day, you would simply find new and exciting things to do with Jeff's body day after day.

Not for nothing, but I work all day, come home, and work all night. I ignore phone calls all day, drilling through emails all night. I barely had time to remember to send a single one liner to Amazon per day. You, however, seem to have all the free time in the world. I am truly jealous. Clearly, I am doing something wrong.

1st Payment Received

My first payment of $505.42 was received, and immediately removed from that bank account. When I get a chance, I will block any future Amazon access to that account. It's not that big of a deal, I do not keep money in there, but you know what I mean.

The Crazies Out There

It does amaze me that with all the crazy people out there who randomly shoot people, no one bothers to take a plane flight out to one of Amazon's warehouses, and blow them to pieces.

It also amazes me that with all the suicides that happen each day, not one of those people actually tries to rob a bank or something first. If your going to die, why not try and get away with it? I mean, what the hell, right?

Day 93

Dear Amazon,

I continue to get emails like this:

We have received a report from a customer that one of your images was incorrect or failed our image standards. After researching the issue, we have removed the image for B0013SKSY6: Apple Ipod 8-in-1 Black FM Transmitter Car Kit with Remote and Car Adapter for Ipod 3rd, 4th, 5th Generation, Mini, Photo, U2, Nano 2nd + 3rd Gen, Video, Classic, Touch, based on the validity or quality of the image.

Despite the fact that I do not sell on your system (gee, I wonder why?), I have never sold this product, nor do I have any clue what this image is even for, I continue to get stuff like this semi-regularly. I think your system just misses me.

Total Owed to Me: $2073.96 Plus Interest
Emails Requesting My Money: 93
Emails I have left to send you: ???

Day 92

Dear Amazon,

I see that you have begun the money transfers. Thats good. Very good. When I have the money in hand, I will go away. Until then, I've got my eye on you.

Total Owed to Me: $2073.96 Plus Interest
Emails Requesting My Money: 92
Emails I have left to send you: ???

Plus Interest

Ok, so I am sure you have noticed I always said $2073.96 Plus Interest. If you add up my 2 payments, they total $2084.36. That is a difference of $10.40, which would be .02% interest over a 12 months period, which is arguably the going interest rate for a savings account.

Of course, if I had access to the original $2073.96 from the beginning, I could have made a 20% or more return, each month, buying and selling merchandise. Just think of all that lost revenue.

Double Amazon Emails

There was a question about the $500 paid to me in the last post, and the $2000 I was waiting on. There were 2 Amazon Accounts I was running at the same time, that paid out on alternating weeks. According to the email below, they are paying me a week early.

Greetings from Amazon.com.

Thank you for contacting us. Your funds in the amount of $505.42 have been released and should arrive within five banking days of today's date. If you should experience further delays in the disbursement of your funds, please contact us at payments-investigate@amazon.com.

Best regards,

Dorene

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Dear XXX,

We initiated a transfer to your checking account (last three digits XXX) of $1578.94 on 08/07/2008.

Funds usually arrive within 3 - 5 banking days, but times vary by bank. If you have not received your funds within 7 banking days, you may contact us at merchant-disbursement-inquiry@amazon.com.

To see more information about payments to your seller account:
1. Log in to sellercentral.amazon.com.
2. Click the “Reports” tab and then choose the "Payments" option.
3. Use the drop-down menu on the left to see past disbursements.

Thank you for choosing Amazon.com.

Amazon.com Customer Service

Amazon Sends an Automated Email

Ok, I will do some math for you. The date listed below is NOT 90 days. I even went back, and counted. Not to mention, this is not what I was told yesterday. Am I quibbling? After 90 days, fuck yeah! I want my damn money.

Dear XXX,

We initiated a transfer to your checking account (last three digits XXX) of $505.42 on 08/06/2008.

Funds usually arrive within 3 - 5 banking days, but times vary by bank. If you have not received your funds within 7 banking days, you may contact us at merchant-disbursement-inquiry@amazon.com.

To see more information about payments to your seller account:
1. Log in to sellercentral.amazon.com.
2. Click the “Reports” tab and then choose the "Payments" option.
3. Use the drop-down menu on the left to see past disbursements.

Thank you for choosing Amazon.com.

Amazon.com Customer Service

Day 91

Dear Amazon,

So much for 90 days.... see you tomorrow.

Total Owed to Me: $2073.96 Plus Interest
Emails Requesting My Money: 91
Emails I have left to send you: ???

Amazon Responds

On the positive side, this does prove that despite completely ignoring every attempt I have made at getting my money back, they actually DO read my email. I will be waiting with antici.....

Greetings from Amazon.com.

Thank you for contacting us. The final settlement date for your account will be August 5, 2008. At that time the funds will disburse to your bank account on file. Please allow five banking days for the funds to reach your bank account.

Best regards,

Jenny

.......pation.